When I was twelve, I was “fired” for the only time in my life. Well, technically, I was just sent home. It went like this. My father owned a local pharmacy and package store, and he had the expectation that his sons would help out as they got older. I have three brothers, and I was in the middle. My older brother worked out fine. He used to head down the store early Sunday morning and work the register as people lined up with newspapers, coffees, and whatnot. Please note this was a world without scanners, nothing told you what to give back for change, and the register could jam at any time. It was like an adding machine with long keys that popped up with the number that was wrung in. Besides that, you had to figure out taxes from a chart taped on the counter. Lots of customers smoked back then, so you could also enjoy a nice nicotine cloud.
In short, this was not my calling, so when I was asked to replace my older brother, It seemed like a recipe for disaster – no way, I was spending 4-5 hours every Sunday down here. I couldn’t say “no”. However . . .
As I stood behind the counter on my first morning, the line to the register was endless. I saw people holding lots of stuff; I didn’t know the prices for the stuff and forget the stupid tax. I thought fast; after greeting the first customer, I proceeded to press too many price keys at once and took out the register. One thing I excelled at was wrecking things, not a marketable trait in most trades, but it helped here. Boy, the customers got instantly mad. I faked trying to fix it. I heard: “Places to go” and “They didn’t have time for this.” One other person, my dad also didn’t have time for this. He walked over, glared at me, and said, “Wait over there, I’ll call your mother. His face contorted like he had just hit a finger with a hammer. Thank God, there were too many people around for anything else. After ten minutes, he fixed the register.
That day, I retired from the family business. I got to sit in the corner and read comic books until my mom picked me up. I won for the moment, knowing doom was coming in the afternoon when my father got home.