Things a High School Teacher Has Said (Part 1 of 3)
"Okay, I guess today I am imitating a YouTube video with zero views."
"So, you're late due to the time zone difference between the hallway and the classroom."
"Yeah, I don't like Google docs. So, they keep track of your life forever. Boy, I wish what I wrote as a Freshman in high school had lasted for eternity. I would have gotten more jobs."
"That is so unique and disturbing. You want to make a name for yourself. Go ahead post it online."
"Sorry to disappoint, if you want to learn, you will have to do something."
"Great, you are in Advanced Placement English, can you actually do anything, besides complain?"
"If you are going to complain about everything, can you at least try to be funny.”
From here on, if you are going to try to scam me, please put in more effort.
"I don't blame you for using your phone and not paying attention. There are tons of high paying jobs in the texting field."
"If you don't do your work, I have a new program to help you after school. It is called CRAP. The Credit Recovery Academic Program. Do your work or you are going to be in it".
"Times have changed. I want to be PC. Let me rephrase, Wow, you're really utilizing your free will to reshape the norms of classroom discipline. Historically, what you're doing was called "annoying."
"Any chance your comments can be funny rather than offensive."
"Not doing work is a SCAM. Relax, it isn't a negative term . . . It means ``Students Can Achieve More."
"Okay, everyone is being a bit sensitive. For now on, ten microaggressions equals a macro-aggression. We start now. Next time I say, "Please be quiet" and "please don't interrupt", we are at two micros. If I say "you need to focus" that counts as a micro and trigger words."
"So, there was an undercover cop in my room for a year? (pause) So, he thought I was a good teacher?" Contact: "Yes,"
"Well, I am glad I didn't get stabbed." The response: "He thought you were funny. Also, he said you were afraid of blood."