BRIAN F. MCNABB
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​Laugh, Cringe, Cry or Sigh


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​Golden Years

      I
 
Deep underground away from people or pleasure
An old gnome discovered hidden treasure.
 
Silver, jewels, and gold in a heaping pile
He would look it over and stay just a while.
 
Time whizzed by until at long last
He decided to stay and forget his past.
 
Crouched down behind a giant rock
Sitting in silence no need to talk. 
 
Clinging to gold, not food or life
Family left behind, even his wife.
 
Each day belonged to greed and strife.
One hand on his riches, the other a knife.
 
Dying alone with no love, light, or sound
His rotting remains became a burial mound.
 
 
     II
 
A forbidding and ferocious troll
Found a cave dark as coal.
 
His claws and eyes searched the space
Rocks and rocks except for one place.
 
Against the wall was a glittering hoard
He glared around for king or lord.
 
This sack was packed with gems and gold
The power of riches had taken its hold.
 
Club grasped in claw he waited alone
To smash any thief into a pile of bones.
 
Day after day his eyes fixed on the door
Year upon year he became dust on the floor.
 
 
     III
 
An old vampire climbed out of his casket
In the corner sat gold and gems in a basket.
 
His teeth were sharp and he could turn into a bat
He could have sucked blood and got real fat.
 
But the gold glittered and the gems shone
He lost a lot of weight and looked like bone.
 
He kept it all hidden under his cloak
He wasn’t watching when they staked him with oak.
 
He withered away to dust and decay
And even his gold got taken away
.
 
 

Drought
  
Bone dry white paint
curls on the farmhouse.
Clouds of horse flies swarm away;
Parched manure.
 
My cornfield-
a murder of crows
beaks beating dried kernels.
 
The hell with them.
 
My scarecrow
crucified on fence posts,
collapsing.
 
I should cut him down.
 
“You don’t know when to give up,” my wife repeats.
“Wait, the weather’s changing.”
“You don’t get it,” she says.
The kids ask, “Daddy, what’s wrong?”
She says, “Enough.”
 
They’re gone.
 
My rusted tractor huddles
 in the red barn
whispering
“Is it safe to come out?”
 
I look out the driver’s side window. “No.”

 
I push the bills bound
in a rubber band
across the seat.
 
I’m gone too.
 
In the rear view mirror
A white sign in red letters,
stares County Auction Tomorrow.
 
I pull out the drive.
 
The air smells of asphalt and strip malls
and loneliness.



Night
 
 I prefer to sleep                                           
in pitch darkness
 
the kind found
in deep holes.
 
Light conjures
shadows
devises landscapes
summons demons.
 
I need nothing to feed on.
I am full after years.
All feelings in internal exile
Housed in a tomb
sentenced by the emotion executor:
 
Hopelessness
Except,
Fear
 
spared as the jailer
repeating
“Remember them, those people
No one wants to hear from you.
they’ll think you:
a fool to laugh
a weirdo to speak
weak to cry
a coward to agree
wrong to act
evil.
Stay silent.  Stay safe.”
 
My eyes shut,
a fiendish filmstrip
runs reminders
of last nights.
 
A blue caveman
father time
faced figure
with wisps of white hair
wild beard
yellow eyes
pupils of
black bullet holes.
Clasping,
a silver mattock.
on a blue brick pathway,
endlessly encircling a purple mountain.
 
“You’re just steps ahead, getting older, getting slower.  The end will catch up.”
 
Waves of
yellow sea
crash.
Tide hauling back
gold fanged
black fish
deformed
with tiny arms
clawing
at the orange sand.
 
“You’re trapped.  Embrace complacency.  There is no way out.”
 
Giant green worms
shriveling up
on scalding pink
desert dunes
under a blazing
sky consuming
pinker sun.
 
“Your strength is failing.  Stop trying.  Nothing to nourish your soul.”
 
Rancid rats
staked
to the bottom
of a well.
At the mouth,
winged brown
lizards perched
sharpening talons.
 
“Your enemies await.  Die in bound acceptance.  It is inevitable.”
 
Stripped forest,
impaled pines
branches chopped
off.
Soil of smashed glass.
An ashen spider
hangs
screeching.
 
“Your voice is ugly.  No one cares.  Help has turned back.”
 
Overhead,
eternal eclipse
below
a surface of
crystal ice
containing the lake.
Beneath
entombed
a colossal, purple serpent,
with
seething red eyes.
 
“You are trapped.  Cold.  Alone.  All alone.”
 
Bedside window shade,
snaps,
coiling,
illumination invades,
a blitzkrieg against black.
 
My eyes crack open.
The show subsides.
I want to tell someone,
but . . .
 
 
Some things are
better kept to oneself.
 
You cannot always tell,
if people are haunted,
by looking at them.
 
I keep my secrets.


​​Sweet Revenge
  
Twenty years later,
at 4:30 A.M.
He paid the Sweet Shop owner back
for the price of the free gumballs and lemon drops
and the darkness done
below in the basement.
 
Creator of confections
satisfying a sweet tooth,
quenching cravings.
Sugar coated denials.
 
No one believes little boys.
 
This morning,
plain justice
dispensed
with
a blazing fireball.
That face falling into
melted sugar forever.

Still Life
 
 In the beginning of a well-organized lecture,
just about to elucidate a point, the impassioned voice sounded,
"Georgia O'Keefe."
 Then dead silence.
 
Immediately, the classroom hastily evacuated.
Was there danger?  Who knew?
One lingering student reached for the restart button
but retreated, quickly exiting.
No one was going to touch this.
 
Old Dr. Asimover would be pleased;
he had often screamed it wouldn't work.
 
"Logging in with some facts, rubbish.
Humanities minus the humans.
This wasn't teaching.
Bound to fail, bound to fail."
 
When his pager went off,
Louie,
the maintenance man knew what for.
So, he had forgotten to recharge it.
"The hell with it, no one is perfect."
He disliked the robots anyway.
"No hello, no weather, no how is it going."
 
Louie waited a damn long time to get there
and plug it back into the wall generator. 


Roast
 
 The fire was under the tree
A small one that you couldn’t see
 
The lightning had struck an old top hat
It burst into flames and that was that
 
The cloth began to burn and burn
Soon, the ashes would be ready for an urn
 
Plodding over came a portly pig
His stubby leg tripped over a twig
 
Unconscious, there after his fall
The fire consumed him in a ball.
 
His body made for juicy meat
The local critters were in for a treat.


 Instinct
  
The institute’s
brick and bar
 
Fourteen and locked in here.  Ten years.
Manacles of meds, insulation of institute
 
Chain-link and wire
Checks and levels
 
He was caged
heeding
the calls.
 
Lapping the window pane,
drool dripping
playing, panting.
Throw him a bone.
 
His imagination ain’t broke.
 
Last staff directive in sequence,
ignored,
now taste the real meaning of confinement.   
 
He is hauled off.
Welcome to solitary respite.
 
No bike, no baseball, no nothing.
 
Spun in a coil,
on the closet’s top shelf,
hiding, hissing.
 
Gloved hands,
clasping
pulling
pinning.
 
No-hide-n-go seek here.
 
Face often crinkled,
covering ears,
coaching self to exhaustion,
defending against the voices.
Sometimes, the voices were right.
He knew.
 
On the courtyard pavement,
the command was clear.
He ripped up the lid,
rolling the manhole cover away like a penny.
Scurrying down the ladder.
Maze luring, laughing.
Chasing down the cheese.


Baggage
 
The man ran forever,
And never got away.
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