Happy Endings
The three little pigs
scavenge through
my trash cans.
Bite marks
through the dark plastic bags.
I imagine that it has not been easy.
Homes wrecked and such.
Hey, the swines had fame,
lived high off the hog
until royalties ran out.
The tale got old.
Brick house, now crack house.
The wolf drops them off
picks them up
drives a clunker.
Yea, the same wolf with
the once-upon-a-time
powerful pipes.
Not anymore.
He’s got the big “C”
Smokes and Miller Lites.
did a stint of time,
some mandated counseling
now wants to make things right.
I wonder what’s his cut.
He used to be somebody.
The three little pigs
scavenge through
my trash cans.
Bite marks
through the dark plastic bags.
I imagine that it has not been easy.
Homes wrecked and such.
Hey, the swines had fame,
lived high off the hog
until royalties ran out.
The tale got old.
Brick house, now crack house.
The wolf drops them off
picks them up
drives a clunker.
Yea, the same wolf with
the once-upon-a-time
powerful pipes.
Not anymore.
He’s got the big “C”
Smokes and Miller Lites.
did a stint of time,
some mandated counseling
now wants to make things right.
I wonder what’s his cut.
He used to be somebody.
Scarecrow's Regrets
Eventually, the witch won
Oz over run
Monkeys manhandled the masses
Winkies whacked what was left
Wizard waterboarded
Lion, a rug in lodge
Tin Man trashed at recycle center
The girl gone, little dog too.
Look at me now
on death row
a choice of fire
or crow
Should’ve stayed stupid
kept in that cornfield
Ignorance was bliss
Brains got this
Eventually, the witch won
Oz over run
Monkeys manhandled the masses
Winkies whacked what was left
Wizard waterboarded
Lion, a rug in lodge
Tin Man trashed at recycle center
The girl gone, little dog too.
Look at me now
on death row
a choice of fire
or crow
Should’ve stayed stupid
kept in that cornfield
Ignorance was bliss
Brains got this
Ass Kicking
Beware the fury of a patient man.
- Publilius Syrus, Latin Writer
Eeyore’s first vacation
The therapist insisted -
Anger issue
No Tigger, no Roo
No Owl, no Pooh
No noise, little to do
No stress, thank you
The Hundred Thousand Acre Jungle
Get plenty of rest and be at your best
A malcontent monkey
perched on a boulder
is making a bright day – gray
preaching and screeching
doom and despair.
Eeyore moans,
“Guess I’ll have to get used to it,
which I doubt.”
Hours pass, E heads over -
“Monkey, most likely
you won’t stop?”
“No, no, no, you dumb burro.”
E shook his head.
“Some of us don’t
want to listen to that.
That is all there is.”’
“You pathetic! Gross gray grumbler.”
Hooves hammer.
“Thanks for noticing.”
No more monkey business.
When asked what happened
A lemur laughed
“Eeyore lost control.
Primate goes for a roll.”
Beware the fury of a patient man.
- Publilius Syrus, Latin Writer
Eeyore’s first vacation
The therapist insisted -
Anger issue
No Tigger, no Roo
No Owl, no Pooh
No noise, little to do
No stress, thank you
The Hundred Thousand Acre Jungle
Get plenty of rest and be at your best
A malcontent monkey
perched on a boulder
is making a bright day – gray
preaching and screeching
doom and despair.
Eeyore moans,
“Guess I’ll have to get used to it,
which I doubt.”
Hours pass, E heads over -
“Monkey, most likely
you won’t stop?”
“No, no, no, you dumb burro.”
E shook his head.
“Some of us don’t
want to listen to that.
That is all there is.”’
“You pathetic! Gross gray grumbler.”
Hooves hammer.
“Thanks for noticing.”
No more monkey business.
When asked what happened
A lemur laughed
“Eeyore lost control.
Primate goes for a roll.”
Tale Spin
Has happily ever after failed?
Castle crumpling?
Maxed out credit cards keeping the illusion up?
Wanted:
Washed up witches
Dropout dwarves
Hungry huntsmen
Plummeting princesses
Battle back to book worthy
at Grimm Brothers’ Boxing
Tonight, two once-upon-a-timers
Snow White and Cinderella
perform the dance of destruction
After her affair - bumpy with Grumpy,
the royal divorce was no happy ending
White ain’t right!
Rella rose from washing clothes
To too much cash and way too trashed
Glass slippers ain’t for vodka.
Rella’s a puncher, not a talker.
After three rounds,
We’ll see who says,
“Good night, sweet princess.”
Has happily ever after failed?
Castle crumpling?
Maxed out credit cards keeping the illusion up?
Wanted:
Washed up witches
Dropout dwarves
Hungry huntsmen
Plummeting princesses
Battle back to book worthy
at Grimm Brothers’ Boxing
Tonight, two once-upon-a-timers
Snow White and Cinderella
perform the dance of destruction
After her affair - bumpy with Grumpy,
the royal divorce was no happy ending
White ain’t right!
Rella rose from washing clothes
To too much cash and way too trashed
Glass slippers ain’t for vodka.
Rella’s a puncher, not a talker.
After three rounds,
We’ll see who says,
“Good night, sweet princess.”
Cruppets
Crappy Muppets
MTV’s new elementary school cool
Homeless monsters
Ragged and ripped
Staggering a bit
Kids, don’t never go
near them trash cans
Come and play with
A giant one eyed pigeon
Slurring his words
A hopped up frog
Drugs, not hugs
Coming up next
Cruppets’ Celebrity Rehab
Needles and knives
Angst and strive
Looks, not books
You come first
Act your worst
Today’s “Don’t-Mess-With-Me Street”
brought to you by the word “sucks”.
Crappy Muppets
MTV’s new elementary school cool
Homeless monsters
Ragged and ripped
Staggering a bit
Kids, don’t never go
near them trash cans
Come and play with
A giant one eyed pigeon
Slurring his words
A hopped up frog
Drugs, not hugs
Coming up next
Cruppets’ Celebrity Rehab
Needles and knives
Angst and strive
Looks, not books
You come first
Act your worst
Today’s “Don’t-Mess-With-Me Street”
brought to you by the word “sucks”.
I.C.P. - IDIOTIC CLOWN POSSE
Clown college dropouts
Mumbling cop-outs
Make-up 101 – No fun
Intro to Balloons – for buffoons
These clown feet
hit the mean street
Clowns that frown
getting down
The joke’s on you
old tried and trues
Bozo - Gonzo
Willie Whistle - the forever silent treatment
Claire-a-belle - Not so well
Ronald
served a slappy meal
with cries
Tent wars are brewing
No laughing matter
Clowns that frown
Versus
Mimes that rhyme
for control of the big top
We’ll see who shows up at your next birthday party!
Clown college dropouts
Mumbling cop-outs
Make-up 101 – No fun
Intro to Balloons – for buffoons
These clown feet
hit the mean street
Clowns that frown
getting down
The joke’s on you
old tried and trues
Bozo - Gonzo
Willie Whistle - the forever silent treatment
Claire-a-belle - Not so well
Ronald
served a slappy meal
with cries
Tent wars are brewing
No laughing matter
Clowns that frown
Versus
Mimes that rhyme
for control of the big top
We’ll see who shows up at your next birthday party!